her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i now understand why vodka
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
