considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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