"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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