please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us