Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?