I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket