I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
