is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize