so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Say something about gay babies.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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