i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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