I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
