either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
