The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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