Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
