i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize