they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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