Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
