Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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