found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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