I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
