Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
