just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
