Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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