When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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