I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Found your dick twin last night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
