Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
