Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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