i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My hand turned me down
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
