We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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