you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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