I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize