one two three fourrrrnication!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
