I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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