so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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