We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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