You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize