I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so let's talk penis.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
