i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
