bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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