There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
