Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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