I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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