Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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