who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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