Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
