yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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