i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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