She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
