dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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