Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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