She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
