I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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