this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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