I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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