this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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