i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
