im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
