I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
