If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
