Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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