Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
