She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
